Saturday, April 19, 2008

Empathy

I often forget that not everyone possesses empathy Case in point, my friend was over tonight. I had some old pictures out on my kitchen table. We started looking through them. They were of my boys when they were younger. Some of them had my ex-husband in them with the boys. I was explaining how I hate seeing those pictures, because they look like he really cares about them. Her response was 'Well this is assuming that he doesn't'. I explained that I really believe that he doesn't. She said 'Well everyone speaks badly about their ex's' OMG this statement leaves me with the impression that she doesn't believe the things I've told her about him. Granted she never met him. But, he's such a manipulative person she would probably believe me even less if she had. She then looked at one of his pictures and said 'Well he doesn't look like a wife beater and a cheater'. I was shocked. I told her that if she ever met him in person she wouldn't think so either 'cause he's very good at being deceptive about who he really is. I'm still shocked by the whole conversation. If he weren't really the way I have said he is I would still be married to him. I sure wasn't jonesing for a divorce! But, he lied, cheated, abused, manipulated me the whole time we were together...even years after we were married because of the boys. He told me when my youngest son was born he never wanted him and that he wasn't his. He was born with red hair and my boss at the time also had red hair so he told me that he was my boss's and not his. Just last week I found out that he is still spewing this same lie. His ex-wife told me that was his story from when he first met her. So it's difficult when someone that is supposed to be my friend would give this monster the benefit of the doubt. I guess that it would take empathy and trust to understand something like this. Or possibly some people would actually have to live through a similar nightmare before they acquired such empathy.

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